The events of the night and the next morning kept playing through my head. I was so stupid. She had me in my boxers, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. Like it would be wrong of me to sleep with her if she wasn't my girlfriend. Thinking back though, I didn't want to sleep with her. I didn't want her to just be a girl. I wanted her to be my girl. Why did I have to sound like such a dumbass though? I didn't get much sleep that night, she insisted I stay due to the bad weather outside. I took the couch and tossed and turned, trying to figure out what the hell I did. I headed out of her place around 6 AM when the wind finally died down. I had left her a note wishing her a Merry Christmas and took my walk of shame home.
Ow! What the hell? Ow! "What the hell are you guys doing?" I shouted as I started ducking from the pucks flying at me. "No Talbot, what the hell are you doing?" TK shouted at me just as I ducked from a slap shot that came off the end of his stick. I started firing the pucks back. "Hit the shower, we're going to lunch," Flower said as he skated by, he wasn't phased by the flying pucks, which he shouldn't be. He's a goalie stupid!
I didn't realize until I got out of the shower that they had planned a team intervention. Everyone that didn't have a wife to go home to, dragged me to the brewery I loved so much. I walked in and laughed as I saw a big red heart pinned to my jersey hanging above the bar. "You're shitting me right?" I asked pointing up to it. "Max, sit down. Let's talk like girlfriends shall we?" Crosby laughed. "Girlfriend, that's the word that got me in this mess." I heard Crosby, Flower and TK take a deep breath and we all crowded into the one huge booth in the corner. They pinned me in the middle, there was no way for me to escape, unless I climbed under the table and made a run for it that way, but weaving my way through fourteen legs seemed impossible. "Christmas Eve, what happened?" I looked over at Tanger and then my head dropped. I was crumbling, I was becoming weak, I was becoming a pussy. The biggest pussy in the NHL.
Everything was thrown on the table and the guys were looking from one to the other, looking for the right thing to say. "Have you called her since then?" Staalsy finally asked after some awkward silence. I shook my head no, I was scared, what would I tell her? "Talbot," Tanger nearly shouted like he had just discovered a pot of gold. "You're falling in love." "LOVE!?" It felt like my eyes were bulging out of my head. Slowly, one by one everyone started nodding their heads. "I don't even know what love is though, how can I fall in love? Anyways, I barely know her, we've only been talking for like a month and a half now." "Yeah, but you've had your eye on her for nearly six months. If you didn't love the girl you would have slept with her and just treated her like any other girl. Time to take a step back and look at the situation Max, we wouldn't lie to you," Flower explained before shoving his face with a burger. He had a point. It took me a while to admit to myself that I wanted a girlfriend, and then even longer to admit that I liked her more than just a 'buddy'. How was I going to admit to myself that I might actually be in love with her? Love!? No, they're crazy. I'm not in love, I need to snap out of this sappy bullshit. I need to be a man, not a pussy.
Alicia nearly spit out her coffee when I told her what had happened between Max and I. "He actually stopped and asked you to be his girlfriend?" "Yeah pretty much," I laughed sipping on my Americano. "And then what did you do?" I looked down at my hands, "I crawled off of him, put my bra back on and went into the bathroom. When I came out he was getting ready to leave, but I told him to stay. He slept on the couch, and when I woke up he was gone but he left a note wishing me a merry Christmas." I never looked up from my hands. Why was I mad at myself? Why didn't I do something? "Lil," she said just above a whisper and I looked up at her. "You're falling in love with him." "LOVE?!" I quickly ducked my head a bit as everyone in the Starbucks looked over at me. "I don't know what love is. I can't be falling into it. I barely know him." "If you weren't falling in love with him, you would still be sleeping with Aaron. You would still be giving lap dances to random guys in the club, but you're starting to settle down a bit. Trust me, I'm scared for you." Alicia, my best friend, I love her with all of my life, but she was talking crazy. This was stupid.
Cold water ran down my back and I could only hope that it would freeze my brain, get me to stop thinking. I also wanted it to freeze the pain I was feeling in my chest. It was weird. I got out of the shower, toweled myself off and went searching for clothes for work. I didn't feel like working, but I knew that was probably going to be the only thing to get my mind off of him. I pulled on a white bikini top, skinny black jeans and white furry boots that I never wear. Tonight I was looking for a man. I had taken my corn rows out because it felt like botox gone wrong the way my hair was pulling on my skin so I allowed my hair to fall into its natural waves. I applied some black eyeliner and mascara and I was out the door. I was on the prowl, I had to get my mind off of him.
I figured the crowd wasn't going to be very big considering it was December 30th and everyone wanted to save their energy for New Years, but I was wrong. "So that's why you've been covering up these past few weeks," my boss Andrew laughed as I pulled my coat off. "Yeah, had to allow it to heal, good to go now," I smiled as I grabbed my bag and headed up to the booth. The dance floor was packed with people and it made me happy, I loved seeing people dance.
The house was bouncing, I was in the zone and spotted a European looking type guy in the lounge who wouldn't stop looking at me. I motioned for him to join me and he didn't hesitate. His hand quickly found my hip and I grinded my butt into his crotch as I felt his lips on my neck. I didn't care who he was, or what he was about, but all I could feel were his lips on my neck nothing else. There were no butterflies or electric shocks, just skin touching skin, and that's how I liked it. I pulled up my favorite J. Holiday song and grinded with him to the beat. "Wanna put my fingers through your hair, wrap me up in your legs, and love you till your eyes roll back. I'm tryin' put you to bed, bed, bed, I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed." My eyes flew wide open, all of a sudden he was in my mind and I couldn't get him out. That smile, those stitches, that black eye. I froze looking out over the dance floor and suddenly couldn't breath. I tried gasping for air, but nothing was coming up. I tried to drink water, but it got caught in my throat and wouldn't go down. I quickly put on a playlist and darted out of there, leaving the guy pissed off. I hid in the back room until I could catch my breath. What was happening to me!?