Thank you guys for all the well wishes. I had to have a tiny hole drilled in my skull to relieve the pressure, so I'm sporting a super sexy bald spot on my head, but all is good now. No more headache, no more dizziness, just pure joy. So I'm so excited to get back in to this story, my mind has been running a mile a minute, and I'm finally able to sit down and type it all out! Pure joy I told ya!
I sat there on the couch as the previous nights events began flooding back. I kissed him back. I really kissed him back. So much so that if we were at my apartment I would have invited him in. I was in shock, I was disgusted with myself. Why the hell did I do that? "You okay?" I snapped my head over to look at Max and gave him a weak grin while nodding my head. While inside I was screaming 'NO!'. I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. I grabbed the still wet wash cloth from earlier and patted my face down. I felt like I was going to have an emotional breakdown. This is what Max did to me. A few months ago I could care less that I kissed someone I shouldn't be kissing, but now with Max, I felt like my life was over. I didn't know what to do, do I tell him, do I just let it slide? I looked at my reflection in the mirror and barely recognized the person looking back at me. My red streaks in my hair were turning a cooper orange, there were bags under my eyes and above all my eyes almost looked like they were grey, nearly lifeless. I took a deep breath and headed back out in to the living room and sat back down next to Max, resting my hand on his knee.
Max jumped up off the couch about an hour later, grabbed my hand and dragged me in to the bedroom with him. "Something is wrong, will you please just tell me?" I looked from his eyes down to my hands in front of me. I knew I needed to tell him, if I didn't Kris would and that would make everything so much worse. "I kissed back," I mumbled not bringing my eyes up. "You what? You kissed back?" The tone of his voice sent daggers through my heart. I looked up at him and his eyebrows were pointed and his cheeks were turning red. I turned around and headed to the closet where I grabbed my bag and started throwing my clothes in to it. This was it. This was the end. "What are you doing?" I couldn't pick up the tone of his voice, he was so quiet, I couldn't tell if he was angry, upset or confused. I opened my mouth, yet no words came out, instead I continued packing my things. I watched as he sat down on the end of the bed and held his head in his hands between his knees. Once my bag was stuffed full, I zipped it up, took a deep breath, wiped away the remaining tears and left the bedroom. "Oh dear, where are you going?" Lucie asked as I walked by. "I'm sorry, I got called in to work." I dropped my bags and approached them pulling each in to a hug. "I will see you next month," I smiled as I walked away, grabbed my bag and left his apartment. Part of me wanted Max to run out after me, so I walked as slowly as possible to the elevator. If I were him though, I would have let me walk out too. I stopped half way to the elevator, turned around and jogged back to the apartment. I flung the door open and walked in to the kitchen, right past Max sitting at the kitchen table with his parents. I felt his parents' eyes on me, but Max kept his head hanging. I bent down next to King and kissed him on top of his head, "I'll be back for you tomorrow okay bud? Love you," I whispered in to his ear before leaving without saying anything else.
Standing outside of my supposed new home, I didn't know where to go. Back to my apartment, a bar, a club, Alicia's. I just didn't know. I thought about going to the brewery, but quickly decided against that, that was Max's territory not mine. So I settled for a little dive bar only a few blocks down the road. I didn't care that it was only two in the afternoon, I needed a drink. I tossed my bag down next to a stool and took a seat. "You lovely lady are in dire need of a drink aren't ya?" the bartender asked as he stood in front of me. An older man with a full white beard, and a twinkle in his green eyes. "Yes sir, margarita on the rocks please," I smiled and watched as he walked to the other end of the bar to make my drink. "So tell me, what's on your mind," he smiled as he placed the drink in front of me. I wrapped my fingers around it and sucked down about half of it through the straw. I looked up into his eyes and immediately trusted him, he looked like a grandfather with years of wisdom, and probably filled with advice. "I might have just messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me." "Boyfriend?" I could only nod my head, trying to fight back the tears that were starting to form above my bottom eyelashes. "Did he cheat on you?" I looked up at him with a sad expression on my face before finishing off the margarita. "Other way around, can I get another please."
An hour later, and two more margarita's I felt myself nearly falling asleep at the bar. I heard the door open behind me and Steven, as I found the bartender's name to be, started laughing. I didn't think anything of it until he greeted the person. "How ya' doin' Kris? Season seems to be going well." My eyes grew wide. Kris? Season? I felt a man sit down at the bar a few seats down from me and I strained my eyes to look at him without moving my head, but my neck failed me and I looked over and our eyes locked. "Lil?" I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag and started making my way toward the front door. "Lil, wait!" I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to look in to those deep brown eyes. They didn't compare to the blueness of Max's and I wanted to throw up I was so sick of what I did. "What are you doing here?" "I was drinking Kris, what else do people do when they come to bars?" I watched as his eyes went from my face down to the bag I was holding. I quickly slid it behind me, holding on to it with both hands behind my back. "What's with the bag?" "What's with all the questions?" He sighed and jerked his head back to the bar. I took a deep breath and followed him. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked as his hand found my thigh. I quickly brushed his hand away. Steven looked at us and the expression on his face told me everything, he knew exactly what was going on. "Are you happy with yourself Kris? You succeeded, you broke Max and I up, but you know what, I will never go for you. Never. You're a home wrecker." If you could even call it a 'home'. I grabbed my bag once more and left ignoring him yelling for me.
I crawled in to my bed and shivered. Everything felt so cold in my apartment. I rolled around in my comforter, creating a cocoon around my body and tried to will myself to sleep. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and rolled around to loosen the tightness of the blanket and pulled my phone out. I flipped my phone open to find a text message from Max. Who are we kidding? My heart began to race and I felt my blood flowing quickly through my body. What are you talking about? I didn't want to hear his answer. Just like that he was over me. Two hours, that's all it took. I tried my hardest not to cry, but it didn't help. This whole dating thing. I started sobbing as I snapped my phone closed and dug my head in to my pillows. All I wanted to do was disappear.
I kept my head down as I sat at the kitchen table where my parents immediately joined me. "What the hell is going on Max?" my dad asked just as the front door swung open and Lil walked back in. I knew what she was doing, she was saying bye to King, just for the night. Sure enough, out of the corner of my eye I could see her kiss the top of his head, whisper in his ear and then leave. "Nothing dad, it's nothing," I finally answered as the door shut. I finally looked up at them and could tell they didn't believe me. "She got drunk at work, and Tanger was there, he walked her home, he kissed her, she kissed back." My dad's eyes grew wide. "That's what you're so pissed off about? A kiss? She was drunk." "It's inexcusable. I threw myself out there, I told myself she was going to be the only girl I would see. We'd be exclusive, and then she tells me she kissed him back." I hung my head once again, I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I was irritated. "At least she admitted it to you," my mom mumbled before she got up and headed in to the kitchen for some coffee.
Hugging my parents goodbye, I could barely talk. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I didn't want to say anything too stupid. "You need to talk to her Maxime, you can't just let that go," my mom said as she stepped out the front door. I nodded my head and shut the door after they made their way to the elevator. I collapsed on the couch and I heard King get up in the kitchen and make his way toward me. He shoved himself behind my legs, up against the couch and laid back down. I rubbed his belly with my toes and heard him huff in satisfaction. She did admit it to me, so I could at least listen to her explanation. I know if I were in her shoes I would want to explain myself. "Come here King." I bent over and picked up the huge puppy and laid down on the couch, resting him on my chest. His jowls flopped on my chest and he starred up at me. "You're eighty pounds of pure muscle I swear," I laughed as I scratched behind his ears and then threw my head back and stared up at the ceiling. The weight of the dog on my chest for a moment had me convinced that it was Lillianah laying on top of me, until I heard the loud snoring.
I woke up some time later to find my apartment filled with the boys. I looked around confused as to how they all got in. "Spare key, remember?" Flower stated as if he was reading my mind. I nodded my head and picked King up off my chest and sat him down on the ground. I sat up on the couch and my eyes immediately fell on Tanger. "What the fuck are you doing here?" All eyes laid on me but I didn't break my eye contact with Tanger. "I was at the bar, where I ran into Lil by the way, and Geno met me there and now here we are." "You saw Lil?" I whispered it to him, as much as I wanted to sucker punch him, I wanted to know where he saw her. "Yeah she's pretty pissed off, what the fuck did you do?" My soft expression turned in to a glare and it took every ounce of will power in me to not strangle him. "Excuse me? What the fuck did I do? This is all your fucking fault. You just can't seem to find a girl of your own, so you came after mine. You're lucky I haven't rung you out to dry yet." Not wanting to look at him any longer I got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. "What are you guys doing here anyways?" I asked as I saw Flower follow me. "We just wanted to see how you were doing, what the hell is going on Max? Where's Lil and what does Tanger have to do with it?" I poured myself a glass of water and drank half of it before sending another glare to the back of Tanger's head. "She got drunk at work, so he walked her home and then proceeded to make out with her on the other side of my front door." "So she was the one that was drunk?" I nodded my head as I finished off my water. "That slimy bastard. So where's Lil?" "Probably at her place, after she told me I really didn't say much so she packed a bag and left, I fell like shit now since I didn't stop her."
I don't know why the hell I was sitting there with the guys. I should have kicked them out long ago and gone out to find Lillianah. I got up from the couch once again and headed to the kitchen where I picked up my phone. No new messages, no missed calls, nothing. "Alright guys, either you leave now, or you leave before I get back," I stated as I pulled my shoes and coat on by the front door. I watched as Geno and Crosby threw their arms in to the air and stretched. I didn't wait any longer to see what they would do, I was out the door. Who was I kidding? Lillianah is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I wasn't going to let her walk away that easily. It's not like she wants Kris. I know she doesn't. She wouldn't dare. The only reason she did was because he put his charm on and she was so drunk that she didn't even remember. I stepped out in to the brisk cold air and decided to walk. I felt a little dizzy and wasn't trusting myself behind the wheel. Within minutes I found myself outside of her building and could only hope that she was home. I made my way up the stairs and stood in front of her door, bracing myself against the wall. The hallway had started spinning and I needed to gain my composure before knocking. I finally took one last deep breath and knocked on her door five times firmly. The door flung open a few seconds later to a crying Lillianah. "What the fuck?" She shouted as she walked away and crashed down on her couch where there were crumbled tissues lying all over the ground. I walked in and shut the door behind me. "Why are you here?" she asked through her sobs. I walked over to the couch and sat down beside her. "Because I love you Lil, and I'm not going to let a little kiss ruin what we have." She looked over at me with wide eyes before rolling them at me grabbing her phone off the coffee table. She flipped it open and pulled something up. She handed me the phone and then walked away, in to her bedroom where she slammed the door behind her. I looked down at the phone 'this whole dating thing'. Confused I went to her last message and read it. I didn't send these. Then my mind wandered back to earlier with the guys. It had to of been Tanger. That piece of shit.